Have you ever been pulled up by a friend, colleague, or family member for apparent distance and lack of communication? I know I have, in fact recently quite a few times.
Personally, I'm the kind of person that operates happily in my own little bubble, loves people from a distance as I get on with life and I think subconsciously I expect others to do the exact same.
My initial response on a number of occasions tends to be somewhere along the lines of
"I was gonna call you, then... *inserts excuse here*".
In a world where everyone uploads snippets of their lives on social media, it's easy to get caught up in the idea that we're 'in touch' with peoples latest life updates. Responding to a snapchat video, sending a tweet, liking a status, they're all practical but impersonal ways of communicating. If you're like me and tend to keep the tough nitty gritty bits of day to day reality off the internet, why would we then take someones 'status' as a true reflection of their current life state?
I get it. We're all busy doing something, but the fact of the matter is, no one receives pending phone calls, messages or visits because we're human beings and not mind readers.
Sometimes meeting up with the people you love the most is a challenge, but it's important to make sure they know you love them in whatever way possible.
A simple text, call, voice note or FaceTime can make all the difference because although our hearts may be in the right place, no one receives pending...
Who are you? This is one of those simply complex questions life asks and when everything is smooth sailing, it tends to be easier to answer. "I'm *inserts job role here*, *recent achievement here* “ because these achievements are a reflection of yourself right? That's what I thought and they are to an extent.
So... very few people actually know this and if you already do, you're a real MVP *clears throat*. I was made redundant in June 2016.
It was the day of the EU referendum, undoubtedly one of THE most dramatic days of the year for me thus far. I was given a letter and basically told today is your last day (with a nice pay package of course, it wasn't all doom and gloom, I've been enjoying life).
I remember waking up on the 25th June, news of the Brexit results just in and I was at home on a Friday morning. Jobless.
If I'm honest I was initially a bit shaken by the news (the redundancy) but I had a calm feeling about this. As soon as I got home, I told my sister and she didn't believe me for a whooooole week. She kept saying "Umu, you're too calm about it, you must have just taken the day off" bless her cotton socks! I told my mum, she too had a similar reaction "Umu, that's not even a bad joke, redundant at 23?!” she exclaimed as she dismissed my news and continued our conversation without missing a beat. Gotta love the two most important women in my life and their faith in my abilities.
So the weekend came, which was ok as I just went on with my existing plans. Monday morning however; I woke up in my flat, staring out the window overlooking Primrose Hill in the distance and the gravity of what being jobless was fell on me like a ton of bricks, all at once. I had to quickly step out of what could have been a very negative thought path caused by the 'loss' of something that had previously taken up a huge part of my day to day life.
I remember I spent the day reminding myself who I was. I read articles that had been written about me recently, went through a few e-mails, messages etc all with kind words from my friends, family and business related acquaintances. As I went on my little ego boost journey, I came to the realisation, all this affirmation of why people were proud of me, what I contributed etc and not a single one of them was about my job role! Not one!
It's easy to just go with the flow of life and get carried away with our busy schedules but the danger in that is if you are not secure in your own identity, one whim can blow you off course unnecessarily. Take time to define this for yourself cos Lord knows that you need to tell the world exactly who you are before the world defines it for you. Both good and bad times in life are inevitable so be secure in you, your purpose and your identity because it is unique.
What the experience taught me is, I am not my job title or current circumstance. I am an intelligent young woman with the makings of excellence simply finding my place in the world, discovering my power and blessed to help others. I have a rich heritage that is far beyond myself and I'll continue to build on the legacy and hard work of my ancestors for many years to come.
Ultimately I look at the past two months as a blessing in the BIGGEST disguise because I had the opportunity to remind myself of what's important in life, realign myself with my goals and take action. Part of the reason I finally published this website you're on is because of my redundancy and for that, I am truly grateful.
Hi, I'm Umutoni a twenty-something year old Londoner embarking on a journey to find a new meaning to beauty in everyday life and affirming the identity of beauty with substance.